Accordionated (ah kor' de on ay tid) - adj. Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.

Aeroma (ayr oh' ma) - n. The odor emanating from an exercise room after an aerobics workout.

Aeropalmics (ayr o palm' iks) - n. The study of wind resistance conducted by holding a cupped hand out the car window.

Agonosis (ah uh no' sis) - n. The syndrome of tuning into "Wide World of Sports" every Saturday just to watch the skier rack himself.

Airdirt (ayr' dirt) - n. A hanging plant that's been ignored for three weeks or more.

Anaception (an a sep' shun) - n. The body's ability to actually affect television reception by moving about the room.

Anticiparcellate (an ti si par' sel ate) - v. Waiting until the mailman is several houses down the street before picking up the mail, so as not too appear too anxious.

Aquadextrous - adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

Aqualibrium (ak wa lib' re um) - n. The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye.

Arachnidiot (ar ak ni' di ot) - n. A person, who, having wandered into an "invisible" spider web, begins gyrating and flailing about wildly.

Attrinyl (a try' nil) - n. (chemical symbol: At) A black, bulletproof, totally inflexible type of plastic, used primarily in covers of pay phone directories.

Backspackle (bak' spak uhl) - n. Markings on the back of one's shirt from riding a fenderless bicycle.

Baldage (bald' aj) - n. The accumulation of hair in the drain after showering.

Bargue (bar' gyoo) - v. To whine, fuss, and complain a great deal while at the same time trying to get someone to see your point of view. Ex: The young child bargued with his father until his father gave in and let him stay up past his bedtime.

Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Blivett (blih' vit) - v. To turn one's pillow over and over, looking for the cool spot.

Blossor - n. The hair style one has after removing a baseball cap.

Blurfle (bler' ful) - v. To be caught talking at the top of one's lungs when the music at the bar or disco suddenly stops.

Bomca (bahm' ka) - n. A lubricant derived from the salivary gland used for turning book pages.

Bovilexia (bo vil eks' e uh) - n. The uncontrollable urge to lean out the car window and yell "Moo!" every time you pass a cow.

Bowlikinetics (boh lih kih neh' tiks) - n. The act of trying to control a released bowling ball by twisting one's body in the direction one wants it to go.

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Brattled (brat' uld) - adj. The unsettling feeling, at a stoplight, that the busload of kids that just pulled up beside you is making fun of you.

Brazel (brah' zul) - n. The scratch plate on a matchbook.

Brimplet (brim' plit) - n. A frayed shoelace that must be moistened to pass through a shoe eyelet.

more next time….

Meantime here’s the boss’s definition of heaven and hell:

“Heaven is where the police are English, the cooks are French, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian and everything is organized by the Swiss. Hell is where the police are German, the cooks are English, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss, and everything is organized by the Italians.”