Language | Fossicking Down Under For A Fremantle Doctor To Clear Any Frig-ups*

by Professor Auberon Brinsley-Standish

The Thais of course are suitably modest and often embarassed at their own attempts to use English. But they are far from the first to mangle this beautiful language by accident – or by design.

Our American friends and those a little nearer in OZ (an abbreviation which is a perfect example of quite unnecessary abuse of the language in place) are adept at screwing up perfectly good English, for no apparent reason.

Let me quote you something just by way of example. Get your sick bags ready!

This is a ‘fair dinkum’ Australian in full cry: “What a two bob lair you turned out to be, trying to do a bit of good for yourself with a drak sheila like that. Talk about crook, I don’t think she even had the full shilling.”

Their ‘lingo’ is sprinkled with what can only be decribed as slang, with ’togs’ for swimming costume, ‘tucker’ for food, ‘whinge’ for complain, or ‘doing your lolly’.

How about ‘sonky’ which means stupid Down Under; or ‘endless belt’, ‘Mallee root’, ‘ferry’, ‘chromo’ and ‘lowheel’ - all Antipodean terms for a prostitute.

Unlike their American friends, Australian cowboys don’t fend off ‘rustlers’ trying to steal their cattle. Instead such thieves indulge in ‘cattle podging’ or ‘poddy dodging’! And if someone does steal cattle in Australia, the owners of the beasts and the cowhands will ‘get a snout on’ or get angry, in simple English.

A small stone in England is called a pebble. Quite mysteriously in Australia it becomes a ‘yonnie”, something you fire off in your catapult right? No, it’s a ‘ging’ in Alice Springs, not a catty!

How would you react if someone asked you: ’Aving a bit of a shivoo tonight, are you mate?’ They want to know if you are having party. Next day they might ask if you were ‘out to it’ (drunk) last night and were you ‘stoushin Johns’, or fighting the police?

And ladies, don’t be offended if an Australian asks you “what do you get for a screw?’ The ‘fair dinkum cobber’ (nice workmate) only wants to know what your salary is!

When an Australian says: “Ow ya goin?”, in the local vernacular there is a choice of three replies: (1) “Not bad, ‘ow’s yerself?” (2) “Good as gold”. (3) ‘Carn complain’.

In discussing or enquiring about amorous successes of late you may well be asked: “Getting any?” Understandably – being a man - your reply may well be a touch exaggerated, and if so in Oz you might answer thus: (1) “Climbing trees to get away from it mate!” (2) Got to swim under water to dodge it mate!” (3) So busy I’ve had to put a man on!”

And ‘to perve’ means to extract pleasure from the visible attributes of a woman.

By the way, the Australians don’t fart or break wind, they ‘fluff’!

And that my friends is the ‘dinkum oil’, or the ‘plain truth’!

Posted by Zender at September 8, 2005 11:08 AM

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